Fish Food For Thought

photo by Benson Kua

So you have a sick fish in an aquarium. The tank is looking pretty gross, so it’s pretty obvious the poor little guy has been eating, drinking, and breathing some nasty looking water for a while.

The fish doctor comes over and takes a look. He does a blood test and returns with a Fishician’s Order. He says, “There’s no way this fish is getting better. He will develop multiple complications and die a premature death. You have to immediately begin daily injections to simulate the fresh water environment he’s missing.”

When you sheepishly suggest that cleaning the tank might help, he just snorts condescendingly and leaves you with several samples of the stuff he wants you to start injecting poor Dory with. You watch from the door as he gets back in his Audi Quattro and dons a baseball cap with the same logo as the samples before backing out of the driveway.

(Metaphor key: Dory = your pancreas; aquarium = your body; dirty water = toxins from your lifetime eating of processed food; fish doctor = endocrinologist; injections = insulin; commercial bias and conflict of interest = exactly what it looks like)